Dear Valentine’s day , I don’t care

Hello, World and happy Valentine’s day!

Indeed, it’s 14^th February and due that spectacular occasion Google deemed appropriately to greet us all with love capture cartoon animation on this day.

Thanks, Google!

When I woke up this morning I had imagined that the web network would be flooded with these pompous heart-shapped greetings, but I didn’t expect something like that. While I was opening my web browser and different animations appeared on the screen, I started questioning myself whether this is not perhaps a little bit too much for all of us. Is it only me or this is again encroaching into people’s life and trying to persuade us how lovely is to be in love today ( and not on another day of the year, ONLY TODAY!) and how fundamentally Important is for us to acknowledge that fact on this day.

Please, do not get me wrong! I am not trying to categorize this day as something unappropriated, fluffy –teddy bears- chocolate box- ice cream screaming attention around, but only to emphasize on the fact how much media hype exists around it. In fact, I am quite a romantic person and as simple as Ron Swanson, except that in my case all I need is a book, a tea and good company predisposing to deep conversations.

I am happy to announce that something magical happened to me when I turned 25 years old. My life came across a profound change and took unexpected turn for which I would be forever grateful. This was the beginning of refusing to put myself under so much pressure due to the high expectations of this day.  How I did it? Honestly, I don’t have the foggiest idea, maybe oi just outgrew the notion, maybe I became more cynical, whatever was the reason I just made it. I am not in mood of crying a river over someone or putting some incredulous thoughts in my head , some of them including the image of me as 47 and my 23 cats. After all, this day is like any other one on the calendar with the exception that the mass media which tries to prompt us into mass consumption just stick that importance of this day in our faces.

After all is said and done, it’s a question of attitude. Or maybe priorities. When I am thinking about it right now, it’s more question of priorities here and resilience. There is nothing wrong in celebrating your romantic love with someone, with candle lights, chocolate and roses, but there is something abnormal if the mass media put too many pressure over you and how you should spend that day of the year. My old me would probably feel miserable and distraught during this day, eating an excessive amount of chocolate if she didn’t receive a single valentine’s card. While my new me would sit to her and feel a huge amount of pity for this poor, childish thing. Do not waste your time on feeling that way, the clock is ticking faster and faster with every dying second. Do not let the others define you, do not let the world to fill you or to complete you, be the one who can complete himself and explore the world around.

P.S:

Happy V-day! (after all)

 

30 Days Movie Challenge -Day 4

Day 4 – Favorite actor

 

He is born on 2th April, 1977 in Heilderberg , Germany. He is half Irish, half German and he grew up in Killarney, south west Ireland. His name is Michael Fassbender .  His name doesn’t have anything to do with ‘fasten ‘or something else, as the English equivalent of it is cooper.

The very first time I laid eyes on him was when I was watching the phenomenal movie ‘Hunger’ (2008) directed by Steve McQueen. Fassbender plays  Bobby Sands, the Irish republican who went on hunger strike in 1981. For the sake of being more convincing on the screen, he underwent a special diet, as a result of it he lost  about 14 kilos and weighed 59 kilos by the end. Believe me, the scenes in the movie, together with the struggle and brilliant acting are more than convincing. Fassbender would make you feel the anger behind it and you would understand the passion with which those hunger strikes were governed, the nationalism and the feeling of patriotism are vividly expressed there.

As it seems, McQueen took immediate like on him as he included the actor in his other two future projects, Shame (2011) and 12 Years a slave (2013).

In ‘Shame’ , Fassbender portrays Brandon who is a sex-addict, always searching for his next victim, always on hunt, looking after women in the subway. In this movie, you can see realistic mish-mash mixed with sensuality, a good movie for adults with a lot to contemplate in the end. It is dynamic, vigorous, provocative and exciting.

In the very same year, Fassbender appeared in psychological biography ‘A dangerous method’ (2011) where he plays Carl Young. He is bloody exited to perform the new ‘talking cure’ of Freud, played by Viggo Mortensen on their new patient and later acquaintance Sabina Spielrein (Keira Knightley). Knightly facial expressions and contortions are more than powerfully potent, while the tension of the story escalates and reaches its climax.

Last year, we had the privilege to watch Fassbender in two phenomenal incarnations as Macbeth in Macbeth (2015) and as Steve Jobs in the same named movie. This is not traditional Shakespeare ‘s play as you might expect to be, at least it’s not cramped in confined space of illusionary places, it is deadly real.  The landscape and the special effects meet one another in order to collide in something bigger and massive. Up until the sky is crimson red and the story starts to unfold within itself.  As the media says ‘Fassbender is born for this role’ , you wouldn’t be disappointed in what you are going to see, no matter what you might expect out of it. You can see throughout the internal struggle of Macbeth and his forever wicked soul.

 

30 Days Movie Challenge- Day 3

Day 3 -Favorite actress

A few great names of fantastic women appeared in my mind as i was trying to pick only one of them. Much to my surprise, my choice hasn’t changed much since my high-school days, maybe this is the key. My favourite actress on screen is : Keira Knightley.

The first movie I have ever watched with her was ‘Love actually’ , which in the recent years has grown into classical Christmas time movie, with a lot of love romance in the air and sweet-chocolate surprising box of love-stories. After all, life is like a box of chocolate and you never know what it has in store, right? Richard Curtis’ movie is dafty sentimental with the variation of stories within it, but still we need a love theme for Christmas time. Keira plays  girl, who is on the threshold of becoming a girl, getting married, but accidently finds out that her future husband’s best friend is secretly in love with her. Knightly is charmingly childish in her appearance, but still you can see throughout the flickering in her eyes the potential of the raising star in her.  I took like in her from the first scene in which she appeared on the screen.

To be honest, I can’t image better version of Elizabeth Bennet in Pride and prejudice‘s adaptation. Elizabeth’s curiosity and wild spirit are perfectly represented in there, as well the passion of her soul and the struggle with which she fight against the norms of the society. Needless to say that Matthew Macfadyen is the perfect match to Knightly is almost impeccable.

With ‘Atonement’ (2007), she won me over, justifying the notion that Knightly is born to play in movies with settings in the past or past –related fictions. It suits her so well, that it looks like a second skin to her. We all remember the scene with the green silky dress, don’t we? The same triumph of perfection, she shows in the phenomenal and highly original Joe Wright’s version of Anna Karenina. Both her acting and her wardrobe were immaculate there.

One of the most favorite movies with her for me is ‘Never let me go’ , in somewhat alternative reality that looks suspiciously like 1940-1950s. It is a grasping and poignant image of life with the fully , almost naïve acceptance of reality and life there. I very much like how Keira depicts her character, as it’s so close to the book. Maybe this is the reason why I adore how she acts in the movie, though, if I distance myself from the story and the book, this is not her most fascinating role as an actress. She has much more potential and ability to show more than this.

 

 

 

 

30 Days Movie Challenge – Day 2

Best Film Series – The Lord of the rings

Did you know that the Lord of the Rings novels were written as if they were translated to English, and the original common tongue of the books is called Westron? I didn’t know until this very moment.

I know from the start that whatever I would say about the trilogy would be not enough. I always claim, by the method of trial and error, that the book is better than the movie, but in this case, it’s different kettle of fish here. Peter Jackson achieved the impossibility of bringing into life Tolkien’s books that there is not a single element missed out. The trilogy is impeccable representation of the story. To summarize the story, in only few words, would be insurmountable task, which I want very much to avoid.

The set place for the movie, New Zealand, couldn’t be more suitable for the many nations living in the middle Earth, dwarfs, elves, people and most importantly hobbits. Everything begins with the little hobbits, in one of their cozy homes where the tranquility of the peaceful life can’t and should not be disturbed. When one day, one famous and loving wizard, named Gandalf (Ian McKellen) for his fireworks and magic tricks appears on the doorstep , waiting for one particular Hobbit, Bilbo (Ian Holm). I couldn’t think of better choice for Gandalf than McKellen, charming, pipe smoker and extremely witty who appeared like a perfect match for that role. In terms of the cast, the viewers wouldn’t be disappointed with such name as Christopher Lee, Liv Tyler, Viggo Mortensen, Cate Blanchett and many more.

Before you know, you would be immersed into the story and you wouldn’t like to let it go. A story starting and ending with one ring, a ring which could control everyone and everything, a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands. It’s a story about courage and determination, about the bond of true friendship, about manipulation and deceive, about building trust and finding strength, it’s everything in one basket, plus magic.

Throughout the story, you will acknowledge the mighty powers and the greatest weaknesses of every race. If you expect a battle between the evil and the good, you will surely receive it. The whole complexity of the story is fairly gripping, combining major goals with good characters’ development.

The trilogy is a fantasy in its finest, must watch!

 

 

30 days movie challenge –Day 1

Day 1: The most recent movie you had watched

It’s ‘Hawking’ in the leading role of Benedict Cumberbatch, whose performance was not watched by Eddie Redmayne who played Stephen Hawking in ‘The theory of everything’. I must confess that the both performances are just fantastic and just perfect with a great hint of sophistication on their own.

The movie itself is good, relatively grasping the attention of the audience. However, there is something missing out of it, as if it’s watched from the perspective of a biased observer who is trying desperately to hide something. I wouldn’t say that I was expecting more from the other characters in the story. The characters are mainly underdeveloped, as in many cases hey lack the deepness of showing themselves, like they are only a background of the main story. We don’t see the contradiction between Stephen and his (first wife) Jane, how their differences collide into each other and influence their relationship.

Nevertheless, this movie emphasise mainly on the struggling of the main character with his illness in a sense that he starts one race with the time itself, trying to develop his ideas before his decease would rob him of his ability. Cumberbatch illustrates the struggle and the infinite dedication and resilience of Hawking, reminding us that above everything else he is a scientist and as such he might do his best to prove his theory, whatever the risks are. It’s profoundly inspirational and moving to watch his performance.

The acting performance, apart from Benedict, is rather dull. There is too much simplicity there in order something else to be seen. The tone of the movie is rather scientific than something else, which is perfectly fine if you are especially interested in the theory of relativity, if not, it’s a good bowl of knowledge.

In nutshell, it’s interesting enough to be seen, but do not expect too much out of it.

Day 30 – One thing you are excited for

This is the last day of this long writing- challenge-journey and I can’t believe I made it so far.  At least, this is a proof showing me that I can finish something, even something so small like that, if I put some work of dedication in it.  I can stop beating around the bush and start developing my story on which I am working for two months.

So, back to the point, one thing I am really excited about is : 2016! I am on tenterhooks when it comes to the new year / next year, maybe because I always rise my hopes too high, but I can hardly wait for it. I have big plans for it. At least, starting my master degree, I can barely wait for it to go into UK’s university. I have always had this curiosity of how different is studying in another country, the way of teaching, the clubs in which I can enroll during my study, the people I would meet along the way. The whole experience I would gain, I can feel how my hair prickles when I think about it.

I can’t tell you for how long I have been dreaming for studying abroad. I had in mind to quit my bachelor degree and went studying all over abroad, but I was discouraged by financial difficulties and eventually settled down on finishing my first degree in social science. Little by little, this desire evolved and became a dream that I told myself I would fulfill no matter what. I wouldn’t lie if I said that I was discouraged by some friends, they tried to talk me out of it, not to do it, simply because I lacked financial support. I was told to be unrealistic, day-dreaming, single-minded even irresponsible towards my future, but I didn’t give up. As a result, I have learned another life lesson, that I should just get rid of the negativity in my life and if that means not being a friend with someone, so be it. I am not trying to justify my case, not at all, but it’s one thing to give your friend an open and honest advice when he needs it and other thing to say that he will not succeed and that his head is in the clouds.

Eventually,  I have been offered a place in the University of Edinburg, which was one of the brightest moments in this year. I am hoping that in 2016 I will be able to study there.

I am excited about the prospect ahead, what is in store for me in the future and I am ready to take whatever it is with open hands. Without forgetting to hope for the best and to aspire to do my best!

2016, buckle up, I am coming!

 

DAY 29- Your 21st Birthday’s night

When I looked at this day’s topic I started wondering why exactly the 21^st? What is so special about it anyway? Then I see the light and it struck me that this has to do with the western culture as this is the big moment when you are allowed to do whatever you want as you become an adult by law at that time. In other words, you are officially an adult, or at least ,you think so, as some of us are not so blessed and can’t figure out their life until the age of 29, for instance. But that is another topic of discussion with which I don’t have the intention to engage you.

Speaking frankly and honesty, I don’t hold much recollection from my 21^st birthday, in general about my birthdays at all. The thing I have a tendency not to make so much big deal out of it, for me my birthday is evidence how much I achieve throughout the year that passed. It is something like pre-new-year resolution plan in which I pour down my hopes and dreams and try to make some kind of plan and follow them.

My 21^st birthday was before six years ago, which make it that it was in 2009. How wonderful, it  was my second year of studying Psychology and Social work. When I look back it seems to me like an entire life-time, somewhere in the distant past in far-distant galaxy maybe. Why the time has to fly so fast? Why these things happen in the first place? It was the time of Lady Gaga’s Pocker Face and Katty Perry’s Hot n Cold, but also was the time when Coldplay released their album ‘Viva La Vida’ which is my favorite! Also, it was the year when North Korea conducted nuclear test, president Obama announces 30,000 more troops to Afganstan and Michael Jackson  died at the age of 50. The world would never be the same and we can only get involved in this mind-blowing time adventure.

If I think about it with great consideration I can remember that the night of my 21^st birthday was the last time when I feel the coziness of being surrounded by my friends from high –school, from the university and other ways of acquitting them. It was before the speed up of the life to change things. You know the phrase ‘You have changed!’, at least you feel the urged to say it to someone or someone say it to you. I have experienced it both ways.

Now, upon reflection, if someone would say this to me today, I would say that I did change, but only those who know me well can tell for sure whether this change is positive or negative one. On the other hand, should we not be able to evaluate the measure of our changing whether it is progressive or regressive. Let us be our own judges.

Remembering the night of that birthday, I am divided between feeling of nostalgia and happiness. I remember that there was that dress code which appeared at first as a joke, but eventually it turned out to be true. Me and my friends were first at some sort of restaurant, having a dinner before the real fun began after that we went to a bar and eventually the night ended up in our favorite Karaoke place. There was a laugh, silly jokes and dancing. It was fun, it was nothing grand, just friends who had a really good time together.

DAY 28-word /phrase you use constantly

‘Oh my God!’

Yes, this is definitely my phrase. Now that I admit that to myself , there is the squinky voice of Janise in my head saying it a million times. After all, everyone has phrase which follow him like a shadow after every third sentence. Ned Stark ‘s one was ‘Winter is coming!’, when exactly it will come after all you might ask when he repeats it almost constantly.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the first person to use “OMG” was a 75-year-old British admiral,his name was John Arbuthnot “Jacky” Fisher, 1st Baron Fisher of Kilverstone, and he coined the term while writing his memoirs in 1917. The exact phrase was: “I hear that a new order of Knighthood is on the tapia — O.M.G (Oh! My God!) — Shower it on the Admiralty!“.

Most of the time, I really don’t have the foggiest idea why I use it so often, but it happens and I can’t stop myself from not doing it sometimes. It is like parasite phrase which has attached itself to your everyday manner of speech and expression. I use it even in my own native language so often that there are times when I catch myself saying it and I think that I should have said something else instead. The problem is that I use it almost for every possible specter of emotions (from surprise to utter disgust) that can occur and this is in some way or another irritable. But, we should accept the inevitable fact that this phrase is so useful and so easily compatible that we overuse it without thinking twice.

I am thinking about that NOW, because by using some specific words quite so often or overusing them, we tie ourselves down to a specific limit of speech expression and in our heads pop up the question ‘Shouldn’t I say it in a different way?’. However, that happens only upon reflection, when we play reminiscences of conversations in our heads, otherwise the spontaneity of the speech would be lost.

Every so often I try not to say ‘Oh my god!’, instead I only say ‘oh, my ‘ or in writing to a friend I simply put down ‘oh my stars’ and the person know what is that about.

Another phrase/ word I use every so often is ‘fantastic’ . This is relatively recent phenomenon, maybe I’ve started to overuse that word before three/ four months, since this was the time when I started to feel at easy when I talk with native English speakers. And when someone says something I am like  ‘Oh, really, fantastic!’ which lead to more repetitious usage of this word and before I knew it, it had become part of my every day vocabulary.

 

 

DAY 27 – What you wore today

 

Today is Monday and I had that clear intention in mind to wear something basically simple like a sweater and jeans, but eventually I had a change of heart. Like the proverb goes ‘The morning is wiser than the night’. It was kind of windy today as it has been recently, after all it’s December, but the rays of sunshine which came out between the clouds gave me a hope not to bury myself in my most winter clothes. I have a confession to make, since I ‘ve moved here (in England) me and the weather, we just have had a horrible relationship, every time I dress for a nice sunny afternoon, it turns out to be a gloomy one and the opposite. We just don’t get along, that’s it.

So, where I was? Oh, today, yes!

Today, I wore one of my favorite dresses, it is red and black –squired, a fancy skater dress, not too fancy for a party I deem it, but perfect for going out. There are ‘golden’ buttons on its sleeves which makes it more snazzy which is in perfect combination with the black ‘belt ‘. I enjoy wearing that dress, because it’s so casual in way of wearing it, I can put a fancy coat with it or just my denim jacket and it will look lovely either way. It is a present from my grandmother and I must admit after all these years, she has a pretty good taste of fashion.

These shots are from today, as you can see the dress is pretty lovely. ( I am afraid I cut off my fringe far too short this time, but anyway, it will grow again!!!)And this one is from the end of the summer, If am not wrong is the end of August this year and on that particular day was pretty windy too! (And cold, it was freezing, i was shaking to death and i wanted to get home as fast as I could!) 

However, today I considered it wisely enough not to wander the streets towards my work wearing this denim jacket, but my parka jacket with enough wool inside to keep me warm and to make me feel like a grizzly bear.

 

 

Day 26- things you’d say to an ex

This is too personal and I wouldn’t like to refer to only one person, so I will say things which relate to my relationships’ partners in general, not that they are many.

Thank you for accepting me as who I am, with all my flaws in my character. For getting to know me as I am or at least the level in which I give you myself. Thank you for your understanding, for the patience, for the kindness. I want to tell you that I remember the moments we share, I cherish them and keep them close to me. Thank you for being part of them. I know that there are moments when my childishness was putting to test your resilience and patience, but you were so understandable and kind. You taught me how to be not ashamed of who I am, how I should be proud of myself, how everything has a way to feel into place in the end.

I want to give your my gratitude for showing me that the world is not only black and white, but there is so much to be seen, if I only open my eyes for it. For giving me a chance to explore and find the little joys in the day, even in one ordinary day. Thank you for showing me the magic.

Thank you for the time when you gave me reasons not to be so naïve, not to take everything as it is. Showing me the meaning behind the words and the silence that doesn’t need to be filled with words. Giving me reasons not to act on a whim and to take precautions, to know what is at stake and what is worth fighting for. When I should fight and when I should give up, when I should cease to chase ghost that are no longer there.

Thank you for teaching me that I should put myself first, before anyone else and that there is no point of changing myself for someone. Neither, should I change the other person.

Last, but not least, thank you for showing me that sometimes even with the strongest power in the world something ‘temporary ‘ can’t be changed into something ‘permanent ‘.

Thank you for your lessons, dear lover.

Hope you remember me.